FORGIVENESS, HAPPINESS, AND THE CHOICE OF JOY

I once heard a line that stopped me in my tracks:

“Forgiveness means giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”

It’s simple, but it slices right to the heart. Because forgiveness isn’t just about releasing someone else — it’s about releasing yourself.

How often do we carry the weight of what we “should have done”? The conversation we replay, the relationship we mishandled, the season we wish we could rewrite. If we’re not careful, we end up holding grudges not only against others, but against our own reflection.

And here’s the truth: the past will not bend to our wishing. Carrying it doesn’t change it. Sooner or later, the only way forward is letting go.

Not with a dramatic exit. Not with a performance of closure. Just a quiet release.

The best revenge will always be no revenge. Not stewing, not plotting, not proving. The most powerful thing we can do is move on — lighter, freer, and ready for what’s next.

Happiness vs. Joy

We talk so much about chasing happiness, but if I’m honest, happiness can feel like a moving target.

Happiness is an emotional response to an outcome. It’s result-reliant. It whispers:

If I lose the weight, then I’ll feel better. If I get the job, then I’ll feel secure. If I buy the car, then I’ll feel successful.

It’s always an “if/then” equation. And the problem with that? As soon as we reach the “if,” another condition shows up. It’s a treadmill that never stops.

But joy — joy is different.

Joy isn’t conditional. It’s not a reward for arriving somewhere. Joy lives in the process. It shows up when you’re doing something that makes you come alive: moving your body, creating with your hands, laughing with people who see the real you, or sipping your coffee before the world gets loud.

Joy doesn’t wait for “someday.” It makes today enough.

A Gentle Shift

If you’ve been chasing happiness and feel like it’s always slipping through your fingers, maybe it’s time to change the chase.

Instead of asking, “What would make me happy?” try, “What brings me joy right now?”

The answer doesn’t have to be big. In fact, the small joys are usually the most sustaining.

A walk outside. A playlist that stirs something in you. The book you can’t put down. Call the friend who makes you laugh so hard your cheeks hurt.

The point isn’t perfection. Its presence.

The Takeaway

Forgiveness frees you from yesterday.

Releasing revenge frees you from bitterness.

And choosing joy frees you from the exhausting chase of happiness.

So today, don’t wait for everything to line up. Don’t wait until the past feels lighter or the future feels certain.

Find your joy in the middle of the messy, the ordinary, the now.

Because joy isn’t about what happens to you. It’s about what happens in you.